Disclaimer: In my writings here, I will be honest and very blunt about my impressions, in each of the parts in “Somebody I Use To Know”.
My paternal grandmother was born during the Spanish flu pandemic in 1919 which resulted in her mother’s death. (More on her another time.)
As I was growing up, I knew my grandmother as Grandma. We never used first names unlike what seems to occur in this day and age. The first few years of my life, I appear not to have many memories of her but that does change! I was born in 1956. I think the main reason for this is we didn’t live close by.
We Moved.
When I was about to start school, we moved into a small town where Grandma lived.
Our houses were separated by a cane field. Yes, a cane field near enough to the middle of the town. I would have been about six years old. In those days, we used to walk to school. Basically, every school day I would walk past my grandparents’ house.
PRESS PLAY to view the movie… (This movie was produced by Rod in the 1970s.)
Early memories – the house.
I don’t have too many memories of visits to my grandparents’ house. However, I do remember the layout. At the front of the house, back from the road, there was a set of stairs – I think about two or three. For some reason, we never entered through the front door.
At the back of the house was the kitchen and dining area. And off to the far right was the bathroom. Tea, as in the drink, was always served up while the adults sat around the table. Grandma would usually be seated at the table and shouting or maybe barking orders.
To get to the main part of the house, you needed to climb a set of stairs – about five or six. There was like a sleepout – a bedroom to the left, before entering into the lounge – off the lounge was my grandparents’ bedroom. Exiting the lounge was a small verandah to the front door. Another bedroom was on the left. (More about this later). Oh yes, and there was a large verandah on the right side of the house.
The hand-drawn plan appearing on the left is my recollection of the layout of the house as described above. It may not be fully accurate, especially in the placement of windows and doors. Also, it is most likely not to scale.
Right next door, were two basketball courts which I would frequent regularly. I would see my grandparents, more so my grandmother regularly.
Impressions.
My grandmother was a large woman. I don’t know if she always had a large build. She did give birth to nine children between 1935 and 1957. (Yes, for those with quick-thinking minds, she had her first child at 16 and the last at 38 – And yes, also, I have an uncle younger than me!)
My recollections of Grandma were not favourable. This intensified as I grew older. I would say she didn’t appear to be a friendly person and was not really approachable. All I remember is her shouting at her husband. “Alf, get this, get that”. (More on my grandfather, later.)
I never knew why my grandma was like this – so, one day in recent years, I wanted to know her better. I typed her name into TROVE (https://trove.nla.gov.au/) and up she popped!
During the late 1920s and early 1930s, she was a frequent writer to the local newspaper – “The Children’s Corner“. She wrote about her school, local weather, interactions she had with other children and how she could get a prize! (see extract on left.)
click on this link: https://trove.nla.gov.au/newspaper/article/172801758 to see the full article.
Why?
A question I will most likely never have answered. Since her mother died just days after her birth, she was raised by her grandparents. (There will be more written about them later.) In one of her letters to the newspaper, she mentioned she was going away. Why? Was she too much of a handful for my great-grandparents? In another letter, she writes where she has gone too – back to her birthplace town! She provides extreme detail about her outings with fellow classmates.
Within months she is back “home” and writes again noting that she understands at 15 she can no longer write to the Children’s Corner.
She says she’s going to get a job. Next, I know from my research she is married at 15, a month before she turns 16!
Put Down.
I never saw eye to eye with my paternal grandmother. She was always very critical of me. She would “put me down” whenever she could! I believe this made me a stronger, more determined person. I was always a shy timid person. Then, came crunch day – events I find difficult to write about and I lost complete respect for this woman who was my grandmother. I cannot recall the exact date (but it would have been around 1970 or 1971). It would be seven years before I would have the courage to see her again. Every time my parents went to visit her (By the way my grandparents had moved). I was asked did I want to go – I always replied – NO! I even find it hard to understand as I write now. I have no recollection of what her reaction was when I did see her again. I do remember my mother saying to Grandma, “Look who I’ve got here”.
My grandparents moved house again – I used the Australian electoral roles to track the rough dates.
More memories.
I had been caught by the travel bug and was frequently overseas. So, I didn’t visit my grandparents that much at their new house. However, when I did it was always the same… Grandma sitting at the table or in her chair on the downstairs verandah – barking orders… “Alf, do this, ” or “make tea” etc.
She came across as a powerful woman, but as I write about her, I tend to think she was very insecure.
Moved again.
After Granddad passed, Grandma move down to Brisbane where one of her sons and his family lived. I believe she was living in a “granny flat” with my uncles. I don’t recall visiting her here. Eventually, she moved into a nursing home where I did visit her there. I always felt strange and cautious in her presence. Was it resentment of how she had treated me? I don’t really know – it’s not that important.
RIP.
She died in 2010. I didn’t attend her funeral and I do not have any regrets. The photograph of Rod and Grandma was taken a couple of months prior to Grandma’s passing.
She “pops” into my mind every now and then – it is funny when I came up with this title – I have no intentions of writing about my paternal grandmother – but as usual – power holds and here I am. Rest in peace, Grandma.
Note:
Other details about my paternal grandmother in another writing…
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